I've always been consciously aware of my own shortcomings. As I grow older but seem to have more. My hairline is receding, my teeth are bad and I could stand to lose a few more pounds. I often wonder if others are aware of my shortcomings as well.
While returning from lunch, I was walking with a co-worker toward our place of work. As an attractive lady approached, my co-worker gave me a nudge and nodded toward her bust line.
There's nothing wrong with the natural male senses. However, the woman was smartly dressed and appeared to be returning from lunch herself. I had noticed her but purposely pretended not to. As would be expected, she passed by both of us without even a glance. Typically women make a conscious effort to avoid eye contact with a man. However, a majority of men make a mental assessment of every woman they see. It is simply in our nature and we may not always be conscious we are doing so.
When we make our mental assessment of the opposite sex our point of reference is based on personal choice, history and sometimes our values. Women of this compulsion as well I have been told to simply choose to hide it. Even if one is in a committed relationship this compulsion does not stop. Our mental assessment of others does not stop with physical attraction.
We notice if someone is nosy, weak or strong, easy to fool or someone we admire. We make these initial assessments before we even know the person. It does not take a scientific study to know this method is inherently flawed. Our first impressions of a person must often wrong. But why do we continue to do this when nothing logically suggests our observations tell us anything about the person?
Jokingly I asked my co-worker, "How was she?" He peered at me for a moment and began to laugh. I continued to press. What were her favorite foods? Does she prefer action movies over romance? He knew I was working on an angle and asked me what the point was.
I generally wanted to know what he had learned from her with a simple passing glance. I encouraged him to be imaginative. We spent the next few hours of the shift discussing the stranger on the street. In his brief assessment he was able to conclude she was attractive, smart and perhaps a bit full herself. What type of person does not even smile or say hello to someone they pass on the street?
I played devil's advocate. Perhaps the woman has something pressing on her mind. Perhaps she was working out a solution to a problem at work. Perhaps she used to be very open and friendly yet this was misinterpreted as being forward. My co-worker shook his head and accused me of being too optimistic. I agreed, perhaps he was right?
Later that night I attended my weekly alcoholics’ anonymous meeting. The attractive lady we passed on the street approached me as I was getting coffee. She placed her hand on the shoulder and asked me how I was holding up. I informed her I was working on my exercises to have a more positive and optimistic outlook. She had encouraged me a week before to always try to assume the best of people when I have no other reason to believe otherwise.
She then apologized for not saying hello earlier that day on the street. She said that she had been clean from drug addiction over a year. Unfortunately, the stigma of her deeds still followed her. She did not know if my friend was aware of whom she was. She simply did not want her bad reputation affecting mine. Ironically, I was thinking the same thing but only being conscious of my own shortcomings. Our meetings are called anonymous for a reason.
Previously Posted on FullofKnowlege.com
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