In my younger days I could drink with the best of them. I would get drunk and my worries would float away along with my dignity. I was known to be a goofy drunk. But as time went on my drinking became a problem. I suffered through some very difficult struggles on my long path to sobriety. Today I don't even prefer to drink and I am happy to play the part of the designated driver. But as I witness my friends having a ball I am not tempted to return to my bubbly days. In fact, seeing them sloppy makes me happy to be sober.
I would have liked to have written about how nice it was to return to a night club after 10 years. Although it wasn't an unpleasant experience the revelation was sobering. I guess I first noticed the same people were still there after a decade. Like the old guard they never left their posts. I don't consider myself old by any sense of the word. But I admit I'm slightly too old to be lingering at the night club each weekend. Could that have been me sitting on the stool peering out over the crowd like some stone relic?
Each time the very attractive bartender refreshed their drinks, the relics would smile at her with red eyes and say something inappropriate. She would politely take their tips and return to refresh my coffee. In the old days I always wondered where the pretty bartender went after filling my mug. Now I know she went to stand by the older gentleman sipping his coffee near the back.
I remembered this uneasy sense of awkwardness in the old days. I felt I had to have a bottle in my hand to fit in. And I remember needing two shots initially to relax me and get me into the spirit of things. I did not feel awkward this night. I had come to accept and like myself in the years since I was last here. I no longer needed to be intoxicated to talk to people and feel comfortable in a crowd.
The night was quite a learning experience. I actually enjoyed myself. I probably shouldn't say that as a recovering alcoholic. But I had seen a different side to the nightclub that I had not witnessed previously. As I put my totally trashed friends in my vehicle, I felt a bit of trepidation when the police cruiser pulled up along side. Instead of the expected intimidating glare the officer gave me a friendly smile and said, "Get them home safely, Sir."
I walked the attractive bartender to her car and politely accepted her number. But I confided in her that I had a beautiful young lady at home. I dropped my friends off one by one. Some of my friends, I had to carry. I returned home at a reasonable hour to find my mother asleep on my couch. She had not been up all night awaiting my call from jail as she once had. I sat at my daughter's bedside and pulled her covers up to ward off the chill and she stirred awake. Her sleepy eyes peered up at me. She asked if I had enjoyed my night out. I had enjoyed my return to the bright lights and festive atmosphere of night life. But I was much happier to be home.
Previously Posted on FullofKnowlege.com
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